Anyone who's done a bit of French knows the Frenchies have a bizarre habit of using two words for 'you'. Not satisfied with three words for 'the' (although admittedly nowhere near as confuzzling as the German equivalent), they've got this fascinating conundrum designed specifically to throw foreigners into great confusion and cause unnecessary offence nationwide.
I don't know about you, but at school I distinctly remember learning s'il vous plait years before s'il te plait, and voulez-vous coucher avec moi far before tu veux un orangina ...or were they from songs? That last examples is particularly noteworthy:
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi? (Do you want to sleep with me? (No, I'm not asking you! That's the translation...pfff..))
Surely it's a bit odd to use the formal version of 'you' with someone you're about to bump uglies with.
Even stranger was an incident I witnessed the other day: French man drove into the back of French Woman's car in the carpark. He leapt out, shouting: "Putain de bordel de merde! Putain! Qu'est-ce que vous avez fait?!" (Oh, you silly billy! What have you done?). Whilst hurling abuse at this poor woman, he still used the polite form of 'you'. I quizzed a friend about this and he replied: "Well, it's a sign of respect, isn't it?" Naturally.
In a reverse situation, I have managed to offend teaching colleagues by using 'vous', who despite them being twice my age and never having met me before, insist upon 'tu'. This is lovely, but never explained to poor English schoolchildren, who eventually become poor English assistants! Then there are countless shop assistants and bank workers who I've unthinkingly addressed with 'tu', and the people with whom I appear to be in a permanent 'vous' stalemate; both parties possibly too afraid to attempt a 'tu' at this late stage.
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